Slumdog Millionaire :: Yeah, I'm Reviewing It After It Won

"Terrible."

"Appalling."

"One of the worst movies I have ever seen."

These are words I used to describe the movie Step Up 2: The Streets as I was waiting in the theater to see Slumdog Millionaire. Unlike SU2:TS (pronounced sue-toots), Slumdog is a revelation; a throwback to movies from years passed that not only entertained us, but were of the highest artistic quality. It touches on general themes like love, brotherhood, and pride that are accessible by all, while telling the story in a setting that is familiar to few outside its borders.

Our hero Jamal finds himself in the hot seat on the television game show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire," with destiny asking the questions, the answers to which have something to do with major events from Jamal's past. How Jamal wound up on the show in not entirely explained, but his motives for being there are not solely monetary. Jamal's brother Salim and fellow orphan Latika play major roles in how far Jamal gets on the game show and ultimately play more of a role than he does in the outcome of the game.

Danny Boyle won a well-deserved Oscar for his direction of Slumdog. Shot in his familiar indie-guerrilla style, he takes us on a wild ride from the slums of Mumbai to the Taj Mahal to the lights and cameras of a TV studio. As is his custom, Boyle challenges us to watch at certain points by mixing a few scenes of horror and disgust into Jamal's story.

The Bolly-rock (just made that up) soundtrack by A.R. Rahman is incredibly unique and has a dirty-yet-polished feel to it that matches perfectly with the visual provided by Boyle and cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle (both Mantle and Rhaman won Oscars for their work).

While not as timeless as films like Forrest Gump, from which Slumdog borrows a lot, the film belongs in the same category as films like City Of God which offer unflinching but not gratuitous visions of urban life in second and third world cities. What's to love most about this film is its use of characters, both human and geographic, to tell a story as old as cinema itself in a refreshingly new way.

Civilization Revolution :: You Are My World

When we're not going to concerts, eating and drinking at Denver's finest establishments, or writing well thought out reviews for you fine people, we at Empty Reviews enjoy our video games... and dorky ones at that. The king of all video game dorks goes by the name of Sid Meier. He is the brains behind one of gaming's most loved and famous strategy series, Civilization. With Civilization Revolution he bring the franchise to consoles for the first time.

Play begins by picking one of 16 civilizations with the goal of conquering the other four randomly assigned civs before they wipe you out. Like in previous Civs, victory can be achieved in one of four ways; Domination (conquering all opponents capitals), Technology (being the first civ to develop the technology to build a spaceship), Economic (gaining and saving enough money to build the World Bank), and Cultural (gaining enough culture to build the United Nations). Along the way the player needs to expand his or her society by building and expanding upon cities while keeping them protected from the other civs. Yes it's über geeky, but in a time when no one wants to play a real game of chess anymore the Civ games are good alternatives for those who feel the need to use their brains a little more actively than it takes to kill Nazis, aliens, or zombies.

Those familiar with previous Civ games may have the most difficulty learning the game. Gone are the days of mouse-and-keyboard controls and many of the game's more in-depth features have been trimmed down to accommodate the technical capacity of consoles and their shoot-everything-in-sight-as-fast-as-possible users. Somehow Meier and company were able to make it work, the result being a sleek, challenging game that can be completed in a matter of hours instead of days. There are so many individual civilizations, difficulties, and win scenarios that it would take quite awhile to complete every scenario with every civ on every difficulty level.

Developers Firaxis and 2KGames have also incorporated an online element called "Game Of The Week" which is a special scenario and map that changes every week. All players start with the same civ and the same conditions and the winners can track their success on an online leader board. It's reason enough to spend your Sundays on the couch with CivRev and a pot of coffee. The head-to-head online play is a bit sluggish and when you have to wait for your opponents to make their moves it can be very time consuming.

The developers took advantage of the graphics potential of the consoles, creating gorgeous living environments, battle animations, and architecture. The musical score is well used, fading in and out during moments of high drama in the game. The most annoying technical feature is the advisors. They constantly pop on-screen telling you things that you should be able to figure out on your own after playing the game for a few hours and the gibberish Latin-sounding language they speak is enough to drive you crazy.

CivRiv is a perfect addition to the series and even though it sounds it's for grown ups, it's actually a lot of fun to play and easy to learn even for those unfamiliar with previous installments of the game. Go get it.

Charlie Wilson's War :: Hookers & Blow & Afghans

This little Mike Nichols flick had some minor buzz behind it before it came out, as well it should have featuring box office and critical faves Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, and Philip Seymour Hoffman. At its core, the story itself is pretty bland Hollywood fare. The rich and powerful politician (Wilson, played by Hanks)wants to make more money and gain more power by exploiting some more inferior country. In the process he sees some kids and women suffering and suddenly his priorities change. You've seen it all before.

The film relies heavily on its three main actors. Hanks and Roberts both depart from their typical roles by playing Southern, selfish capitalists. Seeing Hanks in a hot tub with hookers and blow at the beginning of the film made me feel a little dirty as if I had walked in on my father in that situation. Roberts plays Joanne Herring, a middle-aged, somewhat-slutty Texas baroness. Her performance is solid, but maybe a little underused on screen. It was Hoffman who stole the show as Gust Avrakotos, a CIA firey agent who hates his boss with the fire of a thousand suns. Gust serves as Wilson's sidekick and co-conspirator in escalating the conflict between Afghanistan and Russia, while keeping the US government behind the curtain.

Again, you've seen this movie before. Nichols' films are so few and far between that I was hoping for something a little more original this time around. That's not to say that it wasn't enjoyable, I was actually disappointed when the film ended as I thought there was more to the story than the 102 minutes allowed. It's definitely worth a look on Netflix if you're in to international political dramas such as Syriana, Clear And Present Danger, and Three Kings.

He's Just Not That Into You :: Or This Movie

What just 'cause a guy sees He's Just Not That Into You and Twilight you think he's whipped?! You are! At least I HAVE a girlfriend!

Lock it up.

Seriously though, I promise to review movies that are much cooler in the coming months.

Fellas,

This movie sucks. It's 129 minutes long, in my opinion 104 too many. You're going to hate most of the characters, both male and female. There's the crazy girl who won't stop calling you, a couple of passive-aggressive ones that want babies and/or marriage, and a the hot yoga teacher whose sole purpose is to ruin your life. The writers paired these compelling characters up with all the dudes you love to hate; the frosted-tipped douchebag who can have either Jennifer Connelly or Scarlett Johansson but can't make up his mind (a terrible problem to have), the scrawny knowitall butthole with leather furniture, and Ben Affleck. Seriously, do like I did, if you have to go see this movie, get an I.O.U. from your lady friend and take her to see Transformers 2 in June.

Good Luck,
Empty

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Ladies,

I'm not going to lie and say that I enjoyed this movie, because I didn't. At all. That being said, I was able to gauge the reaction of the audience (mostly female) and most of the 40+ crowd seemed to be having a ball. There was cackling laughter at "myspace" jokes, gasps and murmurs at the twists, and maybe a few sniffs and tears towards the end. As I elbowed my way out of the theatre, I overheard a few groups talking about how much they liked it. The two females in my group were split 50-50. The bottom line is that you'll probably think it's a fair movie. Yes, you're all a little crazy, and yes, we're all pigs to some extent. This movie portrays all of that with the subtlety of a jackhammer. If you drag you man to this movie, please give him incentive, and for the love of god, don't expect him to like it.

Love,
Empty

Anise :: You Like-a De What Now?

I was treated to Anise for a post-birthday brunch a few weeks ago and was curious as to what the Greeks have for breakfast. To my slight chagrin, there wasn't much on the menu in the manner of Greek cuisine. The closest thing was an omelet with feta cheese. Hangovers hate stinky cheese, so I got the steak and eggs for myself and the table split a Belgian waffle. Even though we were literally the only people there, the service was still pretty slow and it took a several minutes to get our coffees refilled. To be fair, it was just the cook and the manager running the place, but if a restaurant is going to be open for brunch it needs to have coffee on hand at all times. One of the members of our party ordered a Bloody Mary that was mixed to perfection. To say I'm not a fan of bloodies would be an understatement, so I'll give Anise credit for serving one of the better morning cocktails I've tried in Denver (Mesa Grille in Vegas is still the best I've ever tasted).

By the time the food came out we were all pretty hungry... starving to death even. The food was better than average. The steak and eggs were cooked like I ordered and may have even had a few special herbs and spices added. The waiter/manager looked at me funny when I ordered ketchup for my potatoes, which made me look at him funny. The imaginary conversation may have gone:

Manager: You want ketchup?
Me: Yes, for my home fries.
Manager: But we don't serve fries.
Me: *looking confused*
Manager: *looking confused*

Cultural confusion!

As we finished our seventh cups of coffee, we bundled up and headed back downtown, fully sort-of-satisfied with our experience. Will I go back there again for brunch? Not with the likes of Lucille's, The Dish, Snooze, and even Village Inn at my disposal. Anise is only open for brunch on Sundays, but their menu is quite bare considering. Still, if I lived in the area I would go back and check it out for dinner.

Link It Up--------------------
Anise Mediterranean Bistro